Day |
Source & Quip |
Notes |
More |
01 |
Henry, Buck
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. |
You may remember him from vintage Saturday Night Live, but he also wrote winning screenplays such as The Graduate and Catch-22. Read some of his credits. |
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02
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Evelyn Waugh
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
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1903 - 1966. British author of Brideshead Revisited and many other books. More information at Doubting Hall or revisit Brideshead.
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03
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George W. Bush
If elected president I'll make sure that dyslexics will have an emergency 119 number.
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Did you think this was a joke? Sorry ... Bush made this comment in '98 in a speech given to D.C.'s Alfalfa Club. Cruel and ignorant? I think so. Read about this & more at BushWatch.com
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04
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Garrison Keillor
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. |
b. 1942. Author of Lake Wobegon and A Prairie Home Companion of Public Radio fame. Read about Keillor and try not to think of fresh sweet corn in a phallic manner, its out of season in November.
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05
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Marshall McLuhan
Ads are the cave art of the twentieth century. |
1911 - 1980, Canadian, communication specialist. His well known book first published in 1967, The Medium is the Message was re-released by Wired Magazine.
Plenty of links to explore or see Wired's Articles. |
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06
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George W. Bush
On Education "The question we need to ask: Is our children learning?" |
Is they really learning? BushWatch.com has a page devoted to GWB's education policy if you are interested. Personally, I think Bush will drive away more teachers from public schools -- after all what has he learned over the years?
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07
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George W. Bush
Audio quip: "...If he's so smart how come every innernet address begins with Dubya"? |
Stated by Bush in reference to Gore's "claim" he invented the Internet. Read Gail Sheehy's excellent and unedited "The Accidental Candidate" on her personal site for an eye opening view of G.W. Bush.
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08
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Adler, Alfred
It is easier to fight for ones principles than to live up to them.
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1870 - 1937. Noted psychologist. Read his bio at on the Alfred Adler Institute site.
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09
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Squirrels' Motto
Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!
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The "Hell's Angels of Nature" -- I have no one specific to attribute this to. Has been floating around usenet for a long time. Let me know if you have a verifiable source.
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10
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John F. Kennedy
Victory has a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
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1917 - 1963. A JFK biography if you need it, from the JFK Library in Boston. Quip suggested by Upoc member Modulate.
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11
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Paul Begala
Politics is show business for ugly people.
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Former W. J. Clinton Campaign Advisor and author of Is Our Children Learning?, a book that examines G.W. Bush and should be a "must read" considering what we face for the next four years.
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12
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Dave Barry
We're having a recount, which should be pretty entertaining, because Florida's No. 3 industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.
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Miami Herald, a post election column, published Thursday, November, 9, 2000. Barry's typically funny, yet pointed, views.
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13
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H. L. Mencken
In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. |
1880-1956. Baltimore newspaperman & literary critic, memorialized as the character E.K. Hornbeck in Inherit the Wind. Biography and some good links or check out the Mencken Society page.
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14
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James Dean
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
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Actor, 1931-1955 -- Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden, Giant. James Dean links.
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15
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Eliot Spitzer
Its not Big Brother that we now have to be afraid of, but Big Browser.
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New York State attorney general Eliot Spitzer, on the implications of online data mining, New York Law Journal, Jan. 24, 2000. Bio from the state website.
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16
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Dan Rather
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesnt block traffic.
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CBS News anchor with the official CBS bio.
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17
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Ralph Nader
Power has to be insecure to be responsive.
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Friend to all consumers and Green Party candidate. |
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18
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Jim Morrison
There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
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1943 - 1970. At the official Doors site you can read Morrison's bio and a virtual trip to his Paris grave.
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19
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Judith Stone
In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space.
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On the Board at The Moth and contributer to Creme de la Femme: The Best of Contemporary Women's Humor first book of humor to donate all royalties and a percentage of the profits to three national charities.
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20
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Bart Simpson
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
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I thought this line had been added to the Pledge, amended to adapt to G.W. Bush's presidency. Or maybe that was just a rumor.
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21
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Phyllis George
The most popular labor-saving device is still money.
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Miss America 1971. She also published cookbooks such as "Chicken, by George." Sorry, but I just don't care enough to bother looking for Miss America cookbooks.
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22
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Alfred Hitchcock
I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.
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1899 - 1980. Who isn't afraid of the police? Still, it means something coming from the master of suspense.
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23
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Audio quip:
Thanksgiving -- Wild Turkey, Three Stooges, Seinfeld, Simpsons.
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L-Dawg audio mix.
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24
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Johnny Carson
When turkeys mate they think of swans.
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Heeerrreee's Johnny! In bio form, at least.
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25
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Dan Quayle
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
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Former Vice President. I always suspected that Republicans were a little kinky, and I can't see him as a top, that's for sure. Read more of his "witticisms" if you dare.
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26
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Unknown
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
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The quip says it all.
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27
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George W. Bush
There ought to be limits to freedom!
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What there really ought to be is a limit to G.W. Bush. Check out the top 20 BushWatch images from the past year or the top 21 stories.
(This Bush comment was made upon viewing an online parody of his official campaign site.)
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28
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Dr. Who
Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority.
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British Time Lord from the TV series. Visit the BBC site.
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29
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B. F. Skinner
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
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1904 - 1990. Famed behavioral psychologist. Read a brief bio or visit the B.F. Skinner Foundation for more detail.
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30 |
Matt Barry
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. |
Frequent contributer to online humor forums, of washington.edu |
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